High Fashion Copycat, part 2

Max Azria, the cage look has been around (and on Susie Bubble and Queen Michelle) for over a season now. If you're going to try to profit off the bloggers who have popularized it since its reappearance, and least have the gorgeous ladies model the looks themselves.

Max Azria, SS 2010:



Susie Bubble, July 2008:


Queen Michelle, April 2009:

Halston as styled by Rachel Zoe and the 70's

Seriously, were you praying that instead of a gorgeously-cut-yet-flowy collection, Halston would release a series of dresses that need a "moment" as an anorexia lag? Well you lucky dog.





Please designers, stop feeding this woman's obsession. And just start feeding her. Sigh, easy jokes.

I hate Marc Jacobs

...and he hates me. And you. And everyone that's ever wanted to not look like shit. From the Marc by Marc Jacobs SS 2010 collection:




Then he just decided to throw every single trend going on currently into his main collection, in a desperate attempt to stay relevant:

Underwear-as-outwear!


Fanny packs, ruffles, and sheer leggings!


More ruffles, more sheer!


Boyfriend blazers and boho harem pants!


Cutouts and more sheer and more underwear-as-outerwear!

Why doesn't he just start designing for Forever 21 and call it a day? Anna Wintour and Rachel Zoe can preach their cult membership all they want, but the fact is, Marc Jacobs is the ONLY brand that doesn't sell out on Gilt, and it's because it's ugly and it never, ever fits. Aren't there better designers we could give his spotlight to?

High Fashion Copycat

Not much irritates me more in the fashion world than the blatant hypocrisy that occurs when high-end designers criticize fast fashion retailers for ripping them off. Heck, there are even blogs like Fashionista that have whole columns dedicated to making sure those poor designers have their voices heard.

The hypocrisy factors in when you pay attention to just how often those same designers perpetrate the very fashion crimes they so publicly villainize. Donna Karan is a member of the CFDA, who are working hard to get the Design Piracy Prohibition Act passed by congress. But here you can see her campaigning for the other side. If it wasn't for the backgrounds in the pictures, it's quiet possible that you couldn't tell which looks were from the DKNY SS 2010 collection and which were from Rachel Comey's SS 2009 collection. Here they are:






(Click for the larger image, and a better view of the prints.)

The flower print is the obvious rip-off here, but I also like how Donna stole the side ruched effect for her dress that Rachel did on a shirt and a dress in her collection. All together, a rather shameful affair.

Not drinking the punch at Christian Siriano

He owes everything to Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum, and it's a shame because there are far more innovative and therefore deserving designers that have passed through Project Runway, and even won (Jay McCarroll). Here's the latest, incredibly disappointing, collection from Christian Siriano:


Calling all soon to be washed-out bridesmaids!!


Need a new outfit for your grandma?


Ever wanted to spend about $700 too much for an incredibly basic shirt dress? Bonus, it's ill-fitting!


Or maybe you're just interested in looking like you've gained 20 pounds.


Regardless, you'll always go wrong with a fucking ruffled, satin shirt. Failed job interview, here I come.


Finally, I'll acknowledge that this dress is slightly less horrendous. But that's only because it's a style that's been done about 5 million times before, so it's been tested for acceptability.

You better watch your back Aladdin

The communal fashion world blow job for the “return” of the jumpsuit makes me want to kill myself. According to all blogs everywhere and any fashion authority, you’ll see more of these monstrosities than florals and metallics this spring. And that’s quite a statement, considering the undisputed fact that florals and metallics will always be the most important new trends for the coming season (while simultaneously being sooooo played out).

Unless you’ve recently suffered a massive breakdown and can’t comprehend anything more advanced than a Snuggie but you crave full rear coverage as well, you have no business even touching a jumpsuit. Seriously, don’t even reach out to push it aside on the racks at H&M. Crazy rubs off.



It’s a fucking pile of fabric with a tie. Monkeys could construct it. Additionally, they’re almost always in the worst fabrics imaginable. Polyester, rayon, hints of spandex. And even if you spend the cash for one in silk, you’re still going to have to sit in it at some point. So you’ve just got a garment with swaths of extra material that’s going to wrinkle the second you apply any presume to it. And now not only are you wearing a full-body diaper, but it’s wrinkled and creased all over to the point that you might as well just go full out and use it as pajamas as well. Because at this point, do you care? You’re wearing this:



You don’t care. Shave your head, get some permanent makeup tattoos, throw on your jumpsuit and pass out in front of Rock of Love Bus. Hell, maybe you’ve earned it.

Seriously.

This belt, by Giambattista Valli, this "grosgrain ribbon belt" retails for $295. If you buy this belt, you have failed everything.